I see clients who equate coming to the studio for a headshot with a trip to the dentist. They know it’s something they need, but they don’t want to be there. Sometimes they come of their own accord, and sometimes an employer sends them. Either way, some of them are not happy to see me.

I’m working with individuals lately who have postponed updating their professional portraits. When they get a headshot they like, they get as much mileage as possible from it, even if years have passed. This image might be used everywhere from business cards to billboards, so it’s important that it portrays an accurate rendition of the subject. Unfortunately, sometimes a person’s self-image diverges from reality.

A beautiful woman in her 50s recently came into the studio for updated headshots. The session went well, though she struggled through her selections. She saw “too many wrinkles.” She looked “tired.” Her hair was “fried.” I struggled to see the person she described in these images of a successful and confident woman. I assured her I would do the standard retouching that could soften the skin and clean up stray hairs then asked if there was anything else on which she wanted me to focus. Once I delivered the finished portraits, she called and asked if she could do a reshoot. “For some reason these portraits just don’t look like me,” she said.

She was distressed, so I photographed her again. As we reviewed the second attempt, she still had difficulty finding a single image she liked. I asked what she was seeing in these photos that I wasn’t. She pulled out her phone and showed me the headshot she’d been using, a black-and-white portrait against a white background lit exactly the way her new portraits were. “See how this photo doesn’t look retouched?” she said. Side by side, the difference was clear. The headshot she valued, while beautiful, was 17 years old and it was the only image she’d been using all that time. She saw it as who she was. The photos I took looked like her, but her brain rejected the premise because she appeared 17 years older.

This got me thinking about our responsibility to clients regarding their self-image. Perhaps we should take a cue from dentists and ask clients to come in twice a year. But seriously, could we encourage them to be photographed more frequently for their own mental well-being? Is it possible for people to embrace aging by watching it happen in real time rather than capturing it a decade or more at a time? It’s an interesting premise, and one I’ll be looking into more.

This client exchange was a bit frustrating, but I understand how she feels. I’m no stranger to a self-portrait session, and as I’ve gotten older, it’s been harder to be enthusiastic about my own headshots. Early in my career I got a new headshot for every lighting test I did. These days, finding test images I like is more difficult. Since turning 40 I’ve been making it a point to photograph myself frequently throughout the year, even when I don’t feel I’m looking my best. My goal is to normalize aging to myself without over retouching. I want to embrace the experience this face has had instead of trying to fix it in post.

I’ll always try to carry out the retouching my clients request, but my goal is to show people their true selves using the best possible lighting and posing. I want to push myself to reveal to clients their true faces, complete with the experience and wisdom they’ve earned.

Try this experiment yourself by stepping in front of the camera more frequently. Think of ways to encourage clients to take this journey to be photographed more often. The results are bound to be a win-win.  

Kira Derryberry is a studio owner and portrait and headshot photographer in Tallahassee, Florida.