Critique for another photog (not my images)
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  1. #1

    Default Critique for another photog (not my images)

    Hi - my sister/business partner asked me to post these for critique. This will also be her first time entering competition. She also needs titles. I would appreciate any help. And don't worry about hurting our feelings - just tell me what you think. Be blunt!






    possible title "Anywhere But Here"




    possible title "Huantingly Familiar"


    Lori Clapp
    www.amomentintime2.com
    Will I EVER know how to use what I learn?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Wausau Wi
    Posts
    627

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    Hi Lori,

    Ok, of course you know the whole disclaimer thingy....

    With that said, Love them. Ok, the last one seems to lack impact IMO.

    Title for the cars something to do with talking. They look like they are talking Maybe all catcalling at the pretty little corvette driving by?

    The only thing that may hurt is that judges are not liking lucis being used so much. But these images don't seem to be hurt by it and probably wouldn't be the same without.???

    The only thing that bothers me about the 'Hauntingly familiar' is the solder so far off to the one side the image seems lopsided to me.

    I am sure I will get corrected by someone that knows a whole lot more, but that is how I will learn I guess.

    We'll see what the experts have to say though and see just how far off I am.

    I like them though.

    Tiffany

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    2,643

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    The first one is GREAT! The second is really good. The soldier one is a great idea, though maybe executed differently?

    I agree with Tiffany, the cars look like they are talking.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Hudson, NH
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    6,047

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    Title for the set, "I love Lucis".
    Mark Levesque, CPP, M. Photog., Cr. Photog, A.C. Ph., CPP Liaison, PPCC Judge

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Eau Claire, Wisconsin
    Posts
    513

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    Lori,

    I have to agree with Tiffany and Diane on Hauntingly Familiar. I love the concept. What would happen if the was sranding between the beds and looking out the window to the right? The soldier would be at an intersection quadrant of the rule of thirds.

    Regards,

    "Because Memories Are For Generations"

  6. #6

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    I really like the first one, though I'm drawn to the very top either wanting to see more of the dark clouds that I think may be there, or not see them at all. But that's my personal preference, by far not an expert opinion. I love the soldier one. I may be insane, but "Remembrance" is the first thing that popped into my mind when I saw it. It would be neat for him to be doing as mentioned above, but personally I love it as it is. I see his foot up showing he's walking, so it just looks like steps taken many times, by many soldiers that are forever remembered by time. 2 and 4 are great also, but I could definitely see number 1 hanging on someone's wall (my dad for one ) and as a military wife and granddaughter, number 3 speaks to me.

  7. #7

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    Maybe if the soldier were slightly to the left so that you can better see that he is walking and not standing there? But I noticed him walking upon first glance.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    North Platte, NE
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    Lori
    I agree that we are seeing alot of lucis and the images need to be strong. I think that lucis does help these images though on the car image it left a burn spot in the center of the sky, see if you can lighten the area before running lucis. The hitchhiker - anywhere but here -or- "lookin for a way out" . The problem that grabs me here is the cut and paste feel. The road is so perfect, no cracks etc., and her shaddow does not indicate her feet. There is a change in the road at about her waist in color, tone and grain. Fix the road problem, maybe by adding a crack back into it (even if you have to go photograph a couple of cracks at about the correct distance to fit in). Place them at the so to blend the color / grain shift in the road. Fix the shaddow, give a bit of foot shaddow under her right foot, I see a hint of it there so stretch it a tiny bit. (View it at print size, it may not be a problem if I were looking at the correct res and size).
    Hauntingly familiar - I think is dynamic!!! I love the placement, the window as the lightest point becomes a dominate compositional element. By placing the man where you have adds to the ghosting element, he is there but yet not there. To move him over would change the dynamics of the image. I do think he is borderline too tall. I measured him and he does fit the bunk on the same plane as he is but to the eye it appears to me that he would not fit. If it is easy to do I would shorten him just a smidgen other wise leave him alone.
    All those leading lines pulling you right down to the window is powerful. Lucis makes this image. The only thing that would make this more powerful in my opinion is if the window was a door the the man is walking toward. Like I have said many times before I am not good with titles but this keeps coming to mind "revisited" I like your title as well.
    The stucco building is the weakest print in my mind, I am seeing burn spots in the sky in 4 areas. I know this is a tendancy of the effect but It needs to be corrected. It would be better (I think, hard to tell with out seeing it) if the building was more yellow/orange to be opp of the blue in the sky. THis would play with the contrasting colors that would add dynamics to the image. Title- ah - rock of ages, time worn, like I said I struggle with titles
    Keith
    Keith A. Howe
    M.Photog.,M.Artist, Cr.,D.F.Ph.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
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    North Platte, NE
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    Just a thought on the anywhere but here image, She is on the wrong side of the road, if she is hitching she would be going into town. I don't know if many judges will catch it unless it stays up for a while. Maybe title it something like headin home or all the way to denver....
    Keith
    Keith A. Howe
    M.Photog.,M.Artist, Cr.,D.F.Ph.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Ames, Iowa
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    in "anywhere but here" I also noticed the wrong side of the road...because she is at risk for being hit by an oncoming car... scary image, anyway.

    I LOVE the cars!!!! and think the hauntingly familiar one is very good.

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