View Full Version : Which of these - if any? For Mass. Comp
01-16-2010, 02:24 AM
I was wondering if any of these 3 are worth working on? Thanks for your time!
01-16-2010, 04:06 PM
Personally I would use the first one. I like the leading lines and the light direction onto the mask of the face. There is a grace and elegance in the dancer added to the serine setting. The choice of the dark outfit balances the foliage. I have a couple of things to check on. I can not tell here but it looks like there may be a sharpening line around her, specifically look along the underside of her body and the bottom of her right leg. If I am seeing it here then it will get stronger on the final image. There are ways to correct this so don't give up on it. Also pinch her tummy and give her a more feminine shape.
I chose not to use the leap because in my opinion you need a place for her to go. It looks like her forward progress would make her run into the fence.
On the 3rd image I just feel that her body position doesn't have the elegant form that is implied by the use of the dancer. It looks uncomfortable and (note I am not a dancer so JMO) like the right leg needs to be straigher or something. Her left leg is blocking the body. In this image because of body position and the outfit, I am drawn to her shorts first, torso second, legs third and then to her face. As a result it loses impact for me.
01-16-2010, 07:35 PM
Thanks Keith! The first one was my favorite, too. I'm wondering if that sharpening is just from sharpening for web. I've only done minor raw processing to export to jpeg work on these for posting. Is there anything else I should do - such as bring out the sky more, saturate the colors more in the foliage?
01-18-2010, 04:03 PM
I would suggest working in layers, darken the overall image and then bring back her outfit and the highlight areas of her skin. This will allow the sky and everything to darken up so the outfit does not dominate the image. Take in her tummy, I know that in that position it is normal but help her out a bit here. I can't tell on this file but look to see if you need to sharpen the mask of the face and eye a bit.
01-19-2010, 01:40 AM
Keith thanks so much for all the tips so far.
I was going thru them again, and I liked her arms and expression in this one more - I just don't know about the bent front leg. Do you think this one would be a better choice than #1?
01-19-2010, 03:36 AM
Still like the first one better because of her position in relationship to the background and also the shape her body makes. On this last one we are looking straight into her bottom, making it wider and the black shorts more dominant. I think the first one is more flattering. If you like this expression better, I think I do, then try a head swap. Looks like it might be possibly.
01-20-2010, 04:16 AM
Ok here it is worked on - did I follow your suggestions correctly?
I went thru a lot of mat colors before settling on this one but I'm still not sure it works; the stroke color I pulled from her hair:
01-20-2010, 07:38 PM
I don't care for the mat color at all. I played around with it and finally settled on black. For the keyline I used a green from the grass in front of her. I feel the image should be larger in the frame. You could tighten up her tummy just a little more. I am seeing a white line along her tummy, top of near arm and her bottom. You said that might have been caused by sharpening for web posting, so make sure it is not on the actual print. I can't tell about the lighting on her face from this low res fill. It just breaks up too much when I zoom in that far. So if you want to post a crop of just her face I can take a look at that. I am guessing it's probably good, given the light on the rest of the scene but I just can't tell here. I also feel the image could be bigger unless there is a tech reason to keep it small.
01-20-2010, 07:39 PM
Are you out there???
01-20-2010, 08:56 PM
I like the darker background. Also move the subject to the lower right corner of the background. She cut right across the center of the image where it's currently placed.
Maybe burn in around the edge???
Other wise, I like it.
01-20-2010, 11:22 PM
Just in case you were wondering why your post didn't show up, in the ask the experts section the posts have to be approved by an "expert"/moderator before they show.
I disagree with you on moving the image lower. If you look at the intersections of thirds, the image as I presented it has her face fall about at the upper right quadrant. If you slide the image lower I am afraid her face will become too centered in the composition. I would also be very cautious about burning in the corners. They could probably go down a little with no problem but you don't want to get a tunnel effect. Usually on a high key image - which this is on the top half, I don't recommend burning the corners.
01-21-2010, 03:23 AM
My first instinct was a black background - but i didn't enlarge the image, so I felt like it was swallowing it up. I didn't think to enlarge it for some reason.
Here it is again, but I didn't sharpen it for web viewing, just shrunk it. Do you still see a white line? I don't see it on my monitor.
and here's the closeup of her face (not sharpened for web):
Any ideas for a title? I was trying to play with the word 'arabesque' but i'm not feelin' it.
01-21-2010, 02:42 PM
Bingo! No more white line! So it had to be the sharpening for web. Just for general information the reason that white line is an issue goes back to technical excerllance. If we see tell tale signs of over sharpening, it implies there was a focus issue to start with. Should an out of focus image recieve a merit? ( Confession time, I had an out of focus image go loan, and get purchased by Kodak for use in the old times of your life marketing program. I spent HOURS going over that print with dyes to sharpen all the edges! That's when I was younger and merit hungry!) So don't ever give a judge any reason to doubt or question anything.
As far as title - I defered to Holly cause she is my title guru. She said and I agreed that this is not a print that needs a title to sell it, so Arabesque is good.
01-21-2010, 02:46 PM
Holly was standing over my shoulder as I was scrolling back up after my last post. I passed by the image one more time she said Oh! "Sea Bird".
I think that's a better title. I always like titles that suggest one thing but mean another, as long as it's not too difficult to make the transisition from what we expect to see when we hear the title and what it really is.
01-21-2010, 05:01 PM
Off the top of my head...
Lost In Thought
The Art of Dance
The Art of Grace
A Moment To Dream
The Fine Art of Dance
I agree with you Keith...I give my wife final say on titles. Print selection too. I've learned to listen to her over the years. I'm slow...but sooner or later I finally catch on.
01-21-2010, 11:13 PM
I love it! Thank you & Holly!! I really appreciate all your help more than I can even express here. :)